i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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