you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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