I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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