went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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