Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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