whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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