i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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