While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize