WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize