She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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