So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize