I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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