Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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