if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize