just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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