Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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