would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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