champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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