Umm I'm too high to move.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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