My hair reeks of homosexuality.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize