Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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