Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize