I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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