I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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