so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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