It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize