Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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