I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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