Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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