On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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