I need help removing her.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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