The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize