The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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