I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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