Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize