I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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