Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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