You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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