Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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