i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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