He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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