dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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