found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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