dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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