Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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