i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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