the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize