If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize