All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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