my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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